Today, today, today....

U know sometimes when i see people that are the size that i want to be i get so damn angry and jelous... I know that aint good but i am keepin it real with myself. This food thing is an addiction and it aint no joke... My criptionite is snacks and it pisses me off that i can still eat that kind of crap. I really wish everytime i get ready to eat something that i shouldnt i wish i would just get sick as hell... i think i am going to pray on that. because i want so bad not to eat the crap that made me fat in the first place. I know it is mind over matter, and my mind is truly getting back there. I know we all have setbacks, and i can tell that I am loosing weight but it is not coming off as fast as i would have hoped for it to.. now looking at my food intake lol.... it has not been all that great. I am going to start to keep a food journal and log my food intake everything i put into my mouth and see how that works..... I did not go thu that pain for nothing and i am going to get myself back on track now.. with my eating and working out....

R u kidding me...

Ok today I had a fill... my second one.. so i now have a total of 6cc's Pretty much bottom line the end of the story is i didn't loose any weight.... R u kidding.... hmmmm dosent sound right to me but whatever... I havent been working out like i know i should have because my damn elliptical trainer broke.... but now that i think about it... I sit next to 2 sorry azz women that eat and snack all damn day... and for the past few weeks i have been hungrier than normal and they always bring in these flamin hot cheese curls asking if i want some and ordering chicken wings and chineese food and crap.. now i dont fall into a lot of traps that they set, but i did have some of the flamin hot cheetos... and now that i look back i was doing rather well until that crap happened.. and then it was like i got constipated.... wow i am so pissed off at myself I know i could have done better and i go back in 4-weeks for another fill and trust me i am going to try my best to loose at least 10lbs I am going to do the damn thing and i am going to post on my blog everyday and that will actually help me be accountable for my actions...... uhhhhhh well one excuse is that i moved saturday and i was kinda overwhelmed but that is over and im good.... so now is the day for me to start understanding that i did this for me not anyone elso but me... and I will quote by the end of this year I will be at least 235lbs.... mark my words.........

Has it been that long.....

Well I haven't updated in a few weeks...WOW... well I am in the process of moving to my OWN PLACE AGAIN!!!! yayyyyyyy... I am so excited I can't sleep... The movers will be here at 8am and it is now 5am now I go to get another fill on thursday so at that point i will be weighing in and the whole 9---yards..... but one thing I can say is that things are still going good, but I can tell that I need another fill... I can eat more now than i was able to eat a few weeks ago... Hopefully i can get another 2'cc's and that will make it my sweet spot... God is so good to me and I thank him every day for blessing me!!!!

PART 2..

Now a little history i went with a guy that had a birthday april, 15, april 10, april 13, and this dude april 12... lol.... yeah right.. I know yall are all full of shit.... and then the October the 19th, 20, 21st, & the 26th. Why i attract guys in these 2-mths I don't know... but i have stopped focusing on not wanting to date guy's from that month and focusing on what i do want... Now when people get drunk or full of that monkey juice they tell the truth... He admited to me that he is in the process of breaking up with this girl he has been with for 1 1/2 years... WTF... are u breaking up with her for... now i must admit i know I look good, but what goes around comes around... he might be a good man and all, but I don't want u breaking up with this chick because u think u can have your dream come true with me... Not going to happen... I can't stand it when guys SEE something they think is better and it always hits them in the face... Been there done that.. but why did it take for him to get drunk to tell me that he has to break up with this girl and before yesterday he was like I really like u, u're the kind of person that I could fall in love with and marry..... but he couldn't be honest from the very beginning... uhhhhhh pisses me off.. it makes me want to go to the gym and workout for 3-hrs.... but they don't have the kids klub open today so the only thing i can do is to go downtown and walk outside by the lake front.... Oh by the way the Taste of Chicago is going on right now also....lol.. I'm doing good at the not eating when i'm hungry so i'm not worried at all... I have always know that when u loose weight guys flock to u so i just have to guard my emotions really well.. Because it's like dropping out of space into a new world that is brand new..

Lookin Good...

Well I must say that I was totally shocked at myself on yesterday. I went over to this guy's house that is trying to be more than just my FRIEND....hmmm.. Any how they had a lot of food... but i actually wasen't hungry and i have stopped eating when i'm not hungry and plus my baby wasen't hungry so it didn't make any sence to sit with a plate of food in my face and force feed myself... I am so getting better at stopping the bad behavior.... It feels so damn good... Now on to this dude... Ok his name is byron and about a month or so ago i was getting some gas and this guy pulled in the gas station behind me at first i didn't know he was trying to talk to me at all...because i was more focused on why the damn gas pump machine wasen't accepting my debit/credit card.... and he was like excuse me i had to pull over now i don't need any gas or anything out of the store, i pulled over to meet u!! wow... and i was like ok.. hello.... nice for u to stop... see u around... and he was like damn.. can i get a name or something.. sure it's trina and i'm a bitch...lol... He was like see most guys are scared to approach Fine women like yourself... they are scared to approach yall because they think yall are high strung... but i had to take a chance even if u shoot me down... hmmmm yeah ok... but see the real deal is I know GAME.. and i have ran GAME before and I know how to see that kind of crap a mile away... First i was like oh ok how many baby momma's do u have, and where is your girlfriend at now? He was like at first I don't have a girl friend.. yeah right... now a-day pretty much everyone has someone even if they don't want them..lol.. ok long story cut in 1/2 i gave him my # he called later that night.. we talked and he is cool... I alway as when a persons birthday is... because a rule i have is not to talk to any guy that has a birthday in April or October.... why is because I tend to fall for them really hard and they always are found to be on bullshit...